Friday, June 24, 2011
This Puppy Could Change How I Am
Confession: I am not a pet person. I never imagined myself taking care of animals or living with them. I just didn't.
Story: Ed wanted a tattoo. Although I am not against tattoos per se, I don't like having one on him. We sort of had a deal about it last year but nothing really happened. Zoom to this year, he wanted a dog.
Sasha, my former housemate/boss's dog (yes, I lived with my boss before because we are Cebu relocators from Manila and we're a group...anyway...) got pregnant and Ed suddenly thought of having a pet. He had a pet dog before so he's no stranger to this thing. I of course was against it. I had some sort of "trauma" with Sasha too, she chewed my slippers, scratched and bruised me so I'm not particularly fond of her.
So anyway last month she gave birth to 8 puppies and the former housemate/boss had to give away (meaning, sold inexpensively haha) some because he's moving to another house and he just couldn't handle all of them alone. Then Ed had started to ask me "Tattoo or dog?". Even though I knew I'd hate seeing a tattoo inked on him, I opted for it. I don't know, probably I wasn't ready yet to take care of another being. Was I being selfish? I heard someone said when you like animals or have a pet, it tells you're a good person. Does that make me a bad person?
On one of our "negotiations", I even told Ed to just get a tattoo of a dog for chrissakes, which he found quite hilarious (he told that story to his co-managers who practically know me too well on my attitude towards pets apparently found it funny too). But I could see in his eyes he really wanted the dog so what could I do?
Yesterday he brought it home and we had to rush to a nearby mall to buy supplies and accessories. Most of the time I find myself thinking (more like worrying) of so many things - what to name, what to buy, how to deal, what to do, will I be able and capable, will I do a good job, am I ready (f'course not), etcetera etcetera.
Now: My heart breaks when he "cries" because he doesn't want being locked up. I like petting him and cuddling him and wish he'd stay a puppy for as long as he lives. I attempt to play with him. It's hard but I do it. I get emotional when I feel I'm not doing anything properly. I am, more or less, clueless about owning a dog and it saddens me because I'm feeling I'm not doing a good job. And that's just his first day with us!
There's so much I want to say but I don't think I am eloquent enough to say them all. I could go on but still end up saying "Please don't tell me I'm a bad person!", you know.
By the way, he's half-Pitbull and half-Akita(?) and named Kal-el. Ed loves Superman so...
New pet owner,